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Interview with The Teen Magazine

So thankful for the opportunity.

Read here — Interview with The Teen Magazine –

An eye opener because my words in some circles of the autism world have caused controversy.

We are a very divided community for many reasons. I do not agree with the divisiveness and my messages will never have the intention to divide.

I am very clear that our experience is very particular. The results  and our experience are all based on the initial message received when Thomais was diagnosed.

One of the main reasons we are divided is because I received a very positive message.

Plus, the first time I ever heard about autism around 1998 – it was an eye opener.

I was in front of Temple Grandin (at a Poultry Processing industry trade show in Atlanta), listening to her passion and dedication seeking ways to make the slaughtering process more humane.

I was told I’d meet her and she had autism.

I said: “What is that”.

They said… “wait and see”…

All I saw was a more than capable individual, brilliant, being a professional.

And that was my first impression.

Years passed and it is now 2018 – I have a daughter on the autism spectrum.

I was told in June 2011, when she turned 3, that autism is medical.  Two developmental pediatricians told me I needed to address the medical issues and my daughter will come back.

I know many families are not being told the same — they are being told that’s how their child is going to be and not lead a productive life or they’ll never say I love you or they will have to be institutionalized.

I must note, prior to the diagnosis – Thomais was developing like any other child, growing, smiling, eye contact, repeating everything in 3 languages. That changed drastically December 2010.

I am sharing our story because our message is a valid one. I am not the only one receiving the same message.

This was Thomais’ reality April 2012… one of many behavior crisis’ that could last 2 hours.

Lo and behold… After many steps, sacrifices, sleepless nights and the support of many… Thomais has autism but she no longer lives a life where the diagnosis controls the day to day. She is a girl in every sense of the word. She is fun. She is bossy. She expresses her emotions. She is learning. She is discovering the good and the tough.

April 2018 – Latest video — I have autism… Accept me!

 Also, I worked in three middle schools and I interact with countless families whose children have every single characteristic of the spectrum.  I have been in both circumstances — a place where my child who was sick all the time, who could not function socially, I wondered why is this happening, how long will this last…
and a place where my child is living life, learning how to function socially and we can say, we seek quality of life.
Magic is not at play here.
Questions? Just contact me – autismhappykingdom@gmail.com

I insist… Divided we shall not remain…

What advice do you have for families surviving autism?
1. Go through mourning, punch a wall or stomp your feet. Stop mourning!
2. Talk to others who are going through the same. Do an initial comparison of what your child can or cannot do.
3. Read a lot, so much research is available. It takes time, so you must have to make the time. The more you read, the easier it can be to decided which path to follow.
4. Ask yourself: Do I love my child? Why do I love my child? How can love guide this process? How can I accept this new reality?
5. Create your tribe, yes, that group of people or that person you can go to and vent. Stay away from negative thinkers or those who do not know a bit about your reality.
6. Your days should become a play session. Make your child laugh. Allow your child to make you laugh.
7. Be patient– the biggest test ever!
8. Decide if you want to be a parent or an individual. If you can’t be a parent, em-brace what it means and do not wait to seek help as soon as possible.
9. Own every experience with your child (or children). Do not blame others, make a plan for every outing and be flexible!
By: Yadira V. Calderón, Autism: The Happy Kingdom

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